21 Tips From a Therapist for Dating Someone With Depression

Depression is one of the most common forms of mental illness. According to recent research, over 20% of people in the United States have experienced at least one episode of major depressive disorder in their lifetime. With symptoms including sadness, apathy, low energy, and reduced libido, it’s no wonder that depression can take a serious toll on relationships.

All relationships take work. But, when you’re dating someone with depression, even ordinary challenges become magnified. Compound that with the heavy burden of trying to effectively support your partner through their depression, and you can very quickly find yourself feeling completely hopeless. You should never try to fill the role of a therapist, but you can implement strategies, specifically ones recommended by mental health professionals, to provide support while balancing your own needs.

Tips for Dating a Partner That Has Depression

1. Learn About Depression

Awareness is power. Understanding the types of symptoms your partner faces will help you have more patience and empathy. You’ll also learn that sad moods and irritability are not always caused by any particular event or action. Learning about depression will also help your partner feel more understood.

2. Ask Them Questions

When someone we love hurts, it’s common to try and immediately fix it. Instead, ask your partner questions about their needs. Simply asking, “what can I do to help?” creates a meaningful conversation that helps them feel heard and allows them to express what they want. Even if the answer is “I don’t know,” expressing your support and willingness to help offers comfort.

3. Be Patient

It’s normal to feel frustrated when the emotional burden of depression looms over your relationship. One of the most powerful and helpful tools you can offer your partner is being patient. Patience is especially crucial with difficulties such as low libido. You can’t fix your partner, but you can let them know that they have space to struggle.

4. Save the Advice

Although you have the best intentions and maybe even good advice, it’s not your place to offer advice. Instead, frame your “advice” as encouragement. Avoid using terms like “need” or “should” and focus on encouraging them to engage in helpful activities. Avoid saying: “You need help”, “You need to go outside” or “You should eat healthier.” Instead, try framing it like this: “Maybe a long walk outside will make you feel better.”

5. Don’t Take It Personally

Depression often causes people to lose interest in doing things they once enjoyed. On difficult days, it can feel like climbing a mountain just to get out of bed. If your partner seems short, distant, irritable, or disinterested– don’t take it personally. The symptoms of depression can often wear people down to the point where they say things they don’t mean or behave in ways that don’t reflect how they truly feel. Remind yourself that this illness zaps away joy and has nothing to do with your role as a partner or their desire to spend time with you.

6. Be There

Sometimes, the best support you can offer is merely being there. You can’t fix it or take away the pain, but you can sit with them as a supportive force while they endure it. It may be uncomfortable at first, especially if your partner is hurting greatly. You don’t need to discuss anything, you don’t need to offer solutions– just be there. You may sit together in silence, hold them while they hurt, or lay together. Your emotional support offers them a feeling of safety and stability.

7. Take Care of Yourself

It’s normal to feel stressed, worn out, or even resentful when your partner is experiencing depression. It is common for partners to lose sight of their own needs, which can bring many negative feelings into relationships. Make sure to prioritize your own self-care by taking time to exercise, decompress, eat right, and reach out for support when you need it. You won’t be much help to your partner when you’ve stretched yourself too thin anyways. 

8. Set Boundaries

Sometimes, a person with depression will act in a way that’s disruptive to your life. This may mean things like canceling plans or lashing out. Even though you understand that depression is the cause, it can still be hurtful. Create boundaries for yourself where you preserve your own needs while not causing your partner harm. For instance, when your partner cancels plans you were excited about, go ahead and do them anyways. During arguments that turn nasty, you can remove yourself from the situation to de-escalate. Healthy boundaries protect you and your partner from mounting resentment and negativity.

9. Re-Think Communication

When your partner has negative thoughts and cognitive distortions like “nobody loves me” or “I’m a failure,” it’s normal to want to tell them how silly that sounds. A more helpful approach is to validate your partner’s struggles without agreeing. You can try saying things like, “I know depression makes you feel that way, but I’m here, and I love you,” or “that’s a tough feeling to endure, I am here to support you through that.”

10. Repeat, Repeat, and Repeat

Telling your partner you love them, you’re attracted to them, and that they are special can all feel futile as they experience depression. Even if your partner doesn’t deem receptive, it’s important to still offer them affection. Your “no-strings-attached” affection creates a feeling of safety as they struggle with difficult emotions.

11. Practice Gratitude

It can be emotionally draining and feel unfair to experience a relationship with depression. Set a timer on your phone each day that reminds you to practice gratitude. During this moment, write down or mentally list one to three things you are grateful for. This act will help you regain perspective and encourage positive thinking–reducing stress and improving happiness.

12. Reach Out

It’s possible to feel overwhelmed by your partner’s experience with depression. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. You can talk to a trusted friend, support group, or find a professional counselor to help you through your own emotions. Reaching out can help you practice your communication and build your coping skills.

13. Be the Team Captain

A relationship requires teamwork, and it’s rarely 50/50. When one team member is hurt, the other must sometimes take on more responsibilities to keep things moving. Depression makes it hard to focus, feel motivated, and do daily activities. Similar to if your partner broke their leg, you might need to amp up your contributions as they work through their symptoms of depression. After all, you’ll need their extra support one day too!

14. Find Compassion

Some days, it can be difficult to find compassion. You’re frustrated, overwhelmed, and feel under nurtured. Remind yourself that this person you love is hurting in a profound way. Their actions and behaviors are often due to the chemical imbalances in their brain caused by depression. Think of how hard it must be for them to feel sick and in pain every day, and dig deep to find compassion in those moments.

15. Go Together

If your partner is hesitant or lacking the drive to go to therapy or do other healthy activities– offer to do it together. For instance, engaging in online couples and marriage counseling services can be an excellent way for both partners to find external support and learn healthy coping mechanisms while avoiding the obstacle of convincing your partner to leave home. Similarly, getting your partner motivated to engage in activities like walks and dinners is easier when you go along with them.

16. Participate in Their Healing

If your partner is actively in therapy, they will be given homework assignments and tools for healing. Partners not in treatment may also adopt some self-care habits that help combat depression. Actively participating and even joining your partner in activities like journaling, meditation, and breathing techniques encourages them to engage in healing behaviors. As a bonus, you’ll gain mental health benefits along the way!

17. Watch Your Language

Despite the wide prevalence of mental illness, there is still some stigma attached. When discussing depression with your loved one, avoid using terms like “crazy” or “mental” to describe their experience. Depression is a physiological illness that is documented and as real as asthma or diabetes. With that in mind, be delicate when talking about it and refrain from making your partner feel flawed or weak. They are bravely weathering the storm, and they deserve to do so with dignity.

18. Stay Social

Some days, your partner may not feel like going out. Rather than isolating yourself socially, continue to maintain a social life. It may feel funny to go out without your partner, but socializing is an important activity for support, distraction, and revitalization.

19. Keep It Real

If your partner is getting worse and unwilling to participate in activities that contribute to their recovery– you may need to evaluate your relationship. Do your best to encourage them, support them, and offer to accompany them to any appointments. If none of these tactics work, have a direct conversation with your partner about your concerns. In some instances, you may need to reassess whether the relationship is working for both of you.

20. Keep an Eye Out

Many people with depression experience thoughts of suicide. It may not be possible to observe when people experience this internal struggle, but occasionally there are warning signs. If your partner is threatening to hurt themselves or suddenly becomes calm and at peace after a period of extreme sadness– you may want to reach out for professional help. You can also call the emergency mental health hotline by dialing 988 (in the United States).

21. Take a Deep Breath

Depression is draining to everyone involved. When symptoms are difficult, it may feel like it’s going to last forever. Remember that the severity is temporary, and there are many effective forms of treatment available (and many more being discovered). Building effective coping mechanisms with your partner (and on your own) will help you weather the storm. Relationships sometimes require a great deal of nurturing during difficult times. The contributions you make will benefit you both in the future.

Bottom Line

Depression robs people of many of the daily joys that we often take for granted. As the symptoms of depression wax and wane, they can create a great deal of stress on a relationship. Doing your best to learn how depression feels, communicating with your partner, and approaching your partner’s struggles with compassion are excellent strategies for managing this challenging disease. You can’t fix your partner’s depression or take away their pain, but you can offer an empathetic ear and emotional support. If you feel overwhelmed or concerned about your partner’s wellbeing, don’t hesitate to reach out for professional help.

---

Lisa Batten, PhD, CPT, PN1

Dr. Lisa Batten has a master’s degree in clinical psychology and a Ph.D. in developmental psychology. She has over a decade of experience in clinical research and specializes in writing about mental health, wellness, nutrition, and fitness.

This article was originally posted here.

Women & Anxiety - What Makes One Gender More Prone Than the Other?

Any men or women suffering from depression, anxiety or any other mental disorder should not lose hope as safe and effective women’s and men’s mental health treatments are easily accessible. When it comes to women’s mental health, the likelihood of experiencing anxiety is double as compared to men. There are some groups of women more vulnerable to anxiety disorder.

There are different types of anxiety disorder but the feeling of uneasiness is common in all types. Mild or severe worry or fear affecting daily life is pretty common in women suffering from anxiety disorder. Too much of anxiety in life can even take over your life. The sufferer is said to have a generalized anxiety disorder.

Physical conditions, stress, hormonal imbalance and genetic background are the factors known for triggering anxiety disorder. Young people, women and individuals suffering from chronic diseases are also likely to suffer from anxiety disorder. It has been found in researches conducted across countries that the number of women suffering from this mental disorder is double. Researchers are working on further researches to learn more about this mental disorder. They are investigating to find out interventions that can provide the greatest results. In addition to finding better treatments, the goal is to find the prevalence of this women’s mental health both in developing and underdeveloped nations. Numbers are hard to find due to lack of representation in some underdeveloped parts of the world.          

Here it is important to keep in mind that anxiety is not always a mental disorder. It is completely normal having the feeling of anxiety at certain times. Anxiety becomes a disorder when it starts affecting your life. See a doctor if anxiety starts causing distress.

But, Who Did The Study?

The researchers from the Westminster City Council and the University of Cambridge carried out this study. The UK National Institute of Health Research funded this research. The clinical journal Brain and Behaviour published this study.

The Times and the Mail Online claim that there are multiple causes of anxiety disorder in younger women. Being a working mother is one of these causes. However, this claim is not based on hard evidence. This claim is based on opinions.

However, the goal of the study by the Westminster City Council and the University of Cambridge was to collect pieces of evidence from systematic reviews. They studied the prevalence of this disorder. They studied the burden of this disorder across subgroups.

Researchers are holding anxiety disorder responsible for impairment to quality of life. This can also lead to significant disability. Researchers stress on better mental health services for women across the globe. There are many studies conducted in the past. However, this is the first one attempting to provide a comprehensive idea of the burden of anxiety across the globe. This study is based on systematic reviews presenting the highest level of evidence. The study has included reviews using different methods. Researchers have examined populations and also considered some other credible studies.  

What Was Involved In The Study?

They searched the three most reliable literature databases to get systematic reviews reporting the global burden of anxiety. Reviews included individuals with psychiatric conditions, chronic or infectious disease, addiction and other mental or medical health conditions. They also included reviews from populations more vulnerable to anxiety disorder. However, they did not include reviews covering anxiety disorders such as social anxiety, generalized anxiety, or obsessive-compulsive disorder. They did not include reviews on anxiety treatment.

Two of the researchers did the quality assessment of the reviews. They figured out whether a review and extracted data are eligible or not. They included studies conducted on people of all ages. They examined studies on anxiety disorder from young children to seniors. These studies were of varying sizes. The anxiety assessment methods were also different in different studies. In some studies, there were structured interviews. In some studies, there were unstructured interviews. Some studies collected information from self-reported questionnaires.

What Were The Results?

In order to get a complete picture of how this disorder is globally distributed, they included results from 48 studies. Some of the major results are:

• The prevalence of this disorder in healthy men and women ranges from 3% to 25%.

• Female:male ratio of anxiety disorder is 1.9:1. This clearly shows that anxiety disorder is way more common in women. The ratio remains the same across different countries. The same goes for men and women having co-existing health conditions.    

• 2.5% to 9.1% of the young adults with age less than 35 years are affected by anxiety disorder.

• The prevalence of this mental disorder is the highest in the Middle East, North America and South America.    

• The prevalence of anxiety disorder is the lowest in East Asia.  

The researchers described the prevalence based on the five common themes including:

• Addiction

• Chronic physical diseases

• Mental and neurological disorders

• Vulnerable subgroups of the population

• Trauma

The researchers found that the prevalence of anxiety disorder was higher in people having chronic conditions. The prevalence ranged from 1.4% to 70%.  

How Did They Interpret The Results?

The researchers concluded that despite epidemiological developments in this field, still many important areas were not explored. They recognized the need for further research in the area of the prevalence of this disorder. Recommendations provided by the researchers can serve the purpose of a guide for the research agenda. This can help in timely and tailored interventions.

Conclusion

This study funded by The UK National Institute of Health Research gathered evidence-based data from 48 studies. They had a significant amount of data to study the global prevalence of this mental disorder. This also highlighted the demand for better treatment across the globe.

Anxiety is one of the most common women’s mental health issues. There are treatment centers offering women’s mental health treatments. These treatments are entirely based on the needs of the patient. Therapists offer extremely personalized treatments including a wide range of therapies for improving physical and mental health of the individual with anxiety disorder. However, the individual should keep in mind that anxiety disorder does not occur due to life events and some mental conditions only, bad lifestyle also leads to the development of anxiety disorder. Your unhealthy habits can interfere with the treatment as well.

This article was originally featured on the Gooden Center Website.

You're probably thinking — why now?

I guess the first question is why now?  Why am I publicly discussing my depression?  It's not really what I had in mind when I emailed Jose.  I saw one of his posts about Creatives Against Depression, and what caught my attention immediately was the tag line, "you are NOT alone."  For a number of years, I've had a desire to support the cause of depression awareness as a way to honor the incredibly compassionate professionals who helped me overcome my depression.  That tag line rang the bell for me.  I reached out to Jose to ask if I could help in any way, and he asked for a post about my experience with depression.  I'm not wild about the idea of glorifying my past suffering, but I'm not even remotely ashamed of it either — except, I used to be, when I thought I was alone.

If you suffer from depression, you've got that awful loop of negative feedback playing over and over in your mind.  You're a piece of shit.  Nobody else could be THIS fucked up.  If those other people with their Barbie Doll minds could see inside your head, they'd, Christ you can't even cope with the thought of it.

One counselor (whom I wish I could thank publicly), set me on the road to recovery with one simple revelation.  She let me in on the secret that everyone is fucked up.  You've heard that a lot of times, I know.  Everyone's got their shit.  But you don't really believe that their shit is as bad as yours.  They're just regular fucked up.  You're a freak.  This one counselor knew I wouldn’t believe her at first.  She knew that my disbelief was what stood between me and recovery.  She walked me through credible examples of abomination in other people's lives and thoughts, stayed with it enough to plant the seed of belief in my mind.  She handed me a map.  Recovery is a long and brutal road.  I did not fully appreciate the importance of that map early on.  But looking back, I’m certain I would not have found the road at all without her guidance. 

'If you suffer from depression, you've got that awful loop of negative feedback playing over and over in your mind.  You're a piece of shit.  Nobody else could be THIS fucked up.'

Fast forward.  I've changed jobs, I'm a partner hired away from one law firm to join another.  I'm pretty well known and respected in my community.  I've worked my ass off to keep my depression a secret.  My new law firm wants to buy a life insurance policy on my head, and I need to sit with another very high profile financial professional from my small city to answer his questions for the policy application.  He's been hired by my new partners.  He's doing them a favor.  A term life policy is way below his pay grade.  He's going to get all of my medical information, and when the application is denied because of my history of depression, he's going to have to tell my new partners why.  And, worse yet, he knows everyone I know in the business community.  I'm screwed.

We sit down in a conference room, we get through the basic stuff, and we dig into the medical history questions.  He can tell I'm freaking out.  He says I have to answer everything honestly or coverage can be denied, so I do.  After handing it over reluctantly, he starts to read then puts down his pen.  He tells me about the time he was naked on his kitchen floor sobbing and his wife had to pick him up off the floor.  He tells me he didn't think he would get better, but he's clearly proud that he did, and it's clear he's impressed that I did too.  I had become an avid cyclist because endorphins offset depression, and my overall health was excellent.  My application was approved with a preferred rating.  That seed of belief had now fully flowered.

I've had three bouts of depression in all over the course of 15 years.  Counseling, an insanely patient primary care doctor (whom I also wish I could thank publicly), and, most fortunately for me, good response to medication (take the fucking meds), have all played a role in my recovery.  But if I had not been given that map, that knowledge that I am actually not alone, that everyone is a freak, I'd be dead.  With each succeeding episode of depression, I built on that belief, and each recovery was quicker and more complete than the last. 

It's really true. You are not alone. Put that in your feedback loop.

P.S.  In case you are THAT sick as you’re reading this:  I’m really, really glad I’m not dead.  When you recover, you will enjoy a life so filled with gratitude, and so free of the fear of death, that the simplest daily experiences will be joyful, and the memorable moments will seem like miracles, which is exactly how we are meant to feel.

Public Displays of Depression: Mental Illness in the Current Fabric of Pop Culture

A beautiful thing, life is, but there are times when the uglier parts of it peek out behind a curtain, and at some point we’re forced to confront the bad that the good parts fail to keep hidden in the dark. This is what happened on the evening of Friday April 21 after Kid Cudi got online to openly address his depression and accompanying suicidal thoughts — something he has touched on in the past.

Cudi was once praised for being a sonically progressive artist, his sound being one music had not heard before. He earned the cosign from Kanye West, whose own catalog hears clear influence from the man also known as Scott Mescudi. But then he fell into a pit of obscurity. The light dimmed while he struggled with depression and a drug addiction. Persevering through the darkness, he delivered Speedin’ Bullet 2 Heaven, his fifth studio album, which failed to clamor fanfare like the ones that came before it. Though the numbers were disparaging, the project held incredible personal significance for him and his mental state. He would eventually see redemption with the release of Kanye West’s The Life of Pablo, and all he had to do was let out his discernibly ethereal moan — the classic Cudi hum that ascends from down in his diaphragm to take us all to church if only for 20 seconds – but not before dealing with the criticisms on his own project.

“Speedin’ Bullet was my last outing as the dark, depressing character that people place me as,” he told Billboard later addressing how he used substances like cocaine as a means to “fix” his depression. “I needed to get that out of me and that was the only way I could do it.” And on April 22, as most of our minds on the east coast were lingering far away from our desks with thoughts of the warm weather and weekend just minutes ahead of quitting time, the same day that Billboard interview was shared, Cudi got on Twitter to say how under-appreciated he’s felt and adding, “I think about blowin my brains out a handful [of] times a week, I fear no one. I gives no fucks. I’m a warrior in hell.”

Getting those dark, depressing parts of one’s self out is not something most people who struggle with depression feel brave enough to do. Instead, society has taught us to suppress those feelings — interestingly enough, one of the biggest takeaways in the headlines following what Cudi tweeted has to do with he said about an upcoming album, rather than his battle with mental illness — often out of fear of that admitting to the demons that call our innermost thoughts home would earn us a scarlet letter. Every once in awhile, though, that ugliness rears its head on a big stage that’s leveraged by a celebrity platform for all to see and confront, whether we want to or not, and such is the case with not just Cudi.

Cut to last October when  Cara Delvingne  made headlines following an interview in which she addresses her suicidal thoughts and the depression she’s been struggling with after being diagnosed at 15. “I got to the point where I went a bit mad,” the 23-year-old revealed. “I was completely suicidal, I didn’t want to live any more.” Fast forward to March when the model, whose eyebrows have become synonymous with her free-essence and ability to find insurmountable success in an industry in which she doesn’t fit the traditional, cookie-cutter mold, penned a personal essay on feeling so unhappy she took a step back from it all, and then followed up with a string of tweets about the self-hatred she’s had in the past – using her own celebrity in hopes that anyone who has ever felt the same knows they are not the only one struggling.

And then there was last month, when Kehlani succumbed to those same aforementioned sentiments after the Twittersphere descended upon her like an eagle on its prey because of gossip on drama in her love life. The jokes flew, but it was all fun and games until someone got hurt. That someone would be the singer herself, who shared via Instagram a picture from a hospital bed, saying she “wanted to leave this earth,” presumably because of the weight of public humiliation. At only 21 years old, R&B’s Grammy-nominated rising star almost lost her light, but the implication of this was upstaged with questions about her authenticity as statements to the tunes of how-sad-can-she-be-if-she’s-posting-pictures and why-would-she-even-share-that-online began circulating. However, Kehlani is a celebrity who perhaps, at the time, felt like that was a necessary means of communicating whatever it is she was/is dealing with to her fans. She used her platform. Also, we live in a climate where nearly nothing is off-limits in online discourse.

Except for mental health and matters of depression and suicide. That causes the audience to stop, stunned for just a second — overwhelmingly in disapproval — before moving on.

What do you think we hear as the soundtrack to this present time as we turn on the radio and sign onto Spotify? It’s Future, of course, arguably one of the most popular rappers right now. But listen to one of his songs and really listen, not to the Metro-Boomin-produced beats, but to the lyrics themselves. Because beyond rapping about Styrofoam cups filled with Sprite laced with lean, a lot of the messages in his catalog are laced with depression.

Wash the molly down with champagne/ Wash the xanny down with syrup/ Hope it take away all this damn pain

His inescapable songs that follow us on playlists, at every outing, are laden with despondence oft ignored because those beats are just that damn good. Perhaps for Future, just like with Cudi, his music is a privilege, a necessary outlet and a means to allow others who identify — those who may lack their own medium in which they feel safe enough to express themselves — to know they aren’t alone. Yet what sounds like cries for help are drowned out. We hear Future, but do we really?

Lest we forget, there’s the wardrobe. We’ve entered an era where it’s almost in to be down. Somehow wearing emotions on your sleeves has become hype — but only ever so elusively because apparently mental illness is not a thing people should actually own up to possessing. Case in point, Anti Social Social Club – the name alone is oxymoronic. Why is it so popular? Well, dare we say that its message, at its core, is all too relatable? And if we do, what does that say about us? Founder Neek Lurk hasn’t shied away in sharing that it’s his agony fostering his creativity. His experiences are his own, but those feelings of despair, as singular as they feel to him or any other person who has them, are rather universal. Yes, there are those who buy his highly-sought after offerings just to buy, but you’d be remiss in failing to acknowledge the connection some fans have to the sentiments behind Neek’s work.

Wear one of his sweaters and you, someone who self-identifies as weird or alone or an outcast, are a part of this society, but only in secret because who really wants to confess to isolation? The reality that ASSC imposes wearers to think about their personal truths, is folded neatly away into a pitch-black corner.

Therein lies the problem. According to a newly released study from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, the suicide rate has been rising in the United States since 1999, 2014 seeing a comparative increase of 24 percent. The National Institute of Mental Health names major depressive disorder as “one of the most common mental disorders” in the country, affecting about seven percent of the population. And yet for something so common, society has mostly idly watched, not loosening the grip of the stigma surrounding mental illness that’s so startlingly tight, it’s as if it’s a thing that doesn’t even exist — let alone should be openly talked about, taboo. But then enters that lingering loneliness that forces millions — 14.8 million according to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America – to suffer in silence. Pay enough attention, though, and we’ll see a glimmer of it exposed in the spotlight, exactly where it should be and stay until discussion about depression is normalized rather than hushed. Until then, may these public displays continue to light the way.

---

Originally posted on HYPEBAE by Ashley Haines.

Everyone Needs Perspective: Don't Fret When You're Not Successful Yet

With all the entrepreneur/hustle/millionaire social accounts, we all think we're going to be millionaires by our mid-twenties. But truth is, that's not really ever the case and we all need a little perspective sometimes:

• At age 23, Tina Fey was working at a YMCA.
• At age 23, Oprah was fired from her first reporting job.
• At age 24, Stephen King was working as a janitor and living in a trailer.
• At age 27, Vincent Van Gogh failed as a missionary and decided to go to art school.
• At age 28, J.K. Rowling was a suicidal single parent living on welfare.
• At age 28, Wayne Coyne (from The Flaming Lips) was a fry cook.
• At age 30, Harrison Ford was a carpenter.
• At age 30, Martha Stewart was a stockbroker.
• At age 37, Ang Lee was a stay-at-home-dad working odd jobs.
• Julia Child released her first cookbook at age 39, and got her own cooking show at age 51.
• Vera Wang failed to make the Olympic figure skating team, didn’t get the Editor-in-Chief position at Vogue, and designed her first dress at age 40.
• Stan Lee didn’t release his first big comic book until he was 40.
• Alan Rickman gave up his graphic design career to pursue acting at age 42.
• Samuel L. Jackson didn’t get his first movie role until he was 46.
• Morgan Freeman landed his first MAJOR movie role at age 52.
• Kathryn Bigelow only reached international success when she made The Hurt Locker at age 57.
• Grandma Moses didn’t begin her painting career until age 76.
• Louise Bourgeois didn’t become a famous artist until she was 78.

Whatever your dream is, it is not too late to achieve it. You aren’t a failure because you haven’t found fame and fortune by the age of 21. Hell, it’s okay if you don’t even know what your dream is yet. Even if you’re flipping burgers, waiting tables or answering phones today, you never know where you’ll end up tomorrow.

Never tell yourself you’re too old to make it.
Never tell yourself you missed your chance.
Never tell yourself that you aren’t good enough.
You can do it. Whatever it is!